Natural Style...

Joy

The newest feature is Natural style and I am going anywhere and everywhere to find naturalistas looking cute. My first natural woman is Joy. She is in her 20's, family is from Ghana and loves to rock her curly afro.

 

 She rocked a side braid and allowed the back of her hair to flow free. The top was purchased at a store called, "Freestyle", it's a local consignment shop. This naturalista is not only concerned about wearing her hair naturally, but is also concerned about the earth as well. If we all were to buy clothes at consignment shops or thrift stores, then we could help the environment.

The flower earrings were actually made by Joy. She is full of creativity and I hope that she puts the earrings on sale. I would love to thank her for allowing me to snap some photos of her.
The next Natural Style will appear on September 17.

Managing your little naturalista...

As a mother of a little curly girl and a curly girl myself, I have decided to drop some of my personal tips to my fellow natural divas. One of the main problems that many mothers of natural girls face is, "how do I tame the mane?" You can tame the main in five simple steps. This is not some guaranteed, fool proof system but it has worked for me over the past 9 years so try it and I think it can work for you.

1. Moisture!!! If the girl has curls and you try to comb her overly dry hair, then you will have lots of tears and a huge headache (the headache comes from trying to deafen the cries of pain and agony). You have first style it with damp hair following washing it. I comb her hair after I wash it and once it's braided, it's going to be a lot easier to comb.

2. Braid it at night (or twist it). If you have a little active curly girl (as most little girls are) then her hair can get frizzy and tangled overnight. When she wakes up in the morning, her unbraided hair will turn into a bird's nest. You have to make sure that you section off the hair at night and braid it, especially if she has rocked the afro during the day. If she had her hair braided during the day, then just leave it overnight.

3. Comb it. It's so quick and easy to want to comb the little one's hair once a week and I do it too, but if the hair goes too long without being comb it can develop knots and make combing it more difficult. Be sure to keep up with the maintenance of your child's hair. It may seem like it takes more time, but in the long run you will actually be saving time.

4. Have fun with it. I have never had my daughter's hair professionally braided, but I have personally put her hair in beads, braided it, put it in pig tails and many more. Watch youtube and check out new styles.

5. Teach her to love and embrace her curls. The television and media had bombarded our girls with images that tell them that they are not enough. The images they see, tell them that they need to look a certain way to be accepted. We need to teach our daughters to love themselves for who God created them to be.

Natural Hair: How to tips and tricks...

I have given some of my own personal tips and tricks, but I decided to go to my own personal hair stylist for more info. She is a wonderful resource for hair tips and helped me transition from my relaxed hair to my natural hair. Here's what she said:

1. How long have you been a beautician?
 I have been a hairstylist all of my life! I use to comb my little sisters hair when we were younger. I became a professional hairstylist nine years ago.

2. What got you into the hair business? My aunt and her husband were hairstylists, and I always admired their talent. I practiced on my sister all the time, but I didn't decide to do hair professionally until my grandmother gave me a gentle push. I was a very young mother and I was attending CSUS. It was hard for me to have a work schedule that would allow me to freely attend my college classes. My grandmother suggested that I go to Cosmetology school so that once I graduated I could make my own schedule. It turned out to be the best advice I ever received. Once I graduated from Cosmetology school, I was an assistant at a really nice salon in East Sacramento for a year. Once I finished my assisting program I was able to set my own schedule and return to CSUS to finish my Bachelor's Degree.

3. I have talked to many women and when the decide to go natural, some African American beauticians are not supportive. I talked to one women who threated to go to a barber, since her stylist wouldn't do a big chop. Why do you think some can be so resistant? Many stylists are resistant because of one thing....MONEY! African American hair is big money. Relaxers, every two week styles, colors, and weaves are big money. When a client decides to go natural they opt to do a lot of their own maintenance at home. At home maintenance means a loss of income for the stylist.
4. Since I have known you for a few years, you have talked about the importance of natural hair. Why do you think this is so important? I think that people become so addicted to fake hair that they forget how beautiful their natural hair is. By fake, I mean relaxing it to make it straight or being so addicted to weaves that no one sees your hair without one. If we take the time to nurture our own hair we can achieve any style we desire with a little assistance. Weaves and relaxers are not always the end all beat all. 


5. Can you give some tips for women who are going to get the big chop? JUST DO IT!!!! The chop is so liberating. I chopped mine twice. You find out a lot about your own version of beauty when you are brave enough to take the plunge. You learn that you are truly NOT YOUR HAIR, and you start to define your own standard of beauty. My best advice is to only do it if you are truly ready to reflect on yourself and your life. People will make comments, some positive and some ready, so you have to be mentally ready for the non solicited feedback. My second best piece of advice is products are your friend! Don't be afraid to experiment with products to help enhance your natural curl.
6. Any tips for those who want to transition?
For those who want to transition, find a stylist who can help you through the process. It is imperative to get the right assessment of your hair and your hair care needs. And you must get your hair trimmed and deep conditioned. Transitioning hair is very very delicate and needs special care. Protective styles are usually best if you are trying to transition.
7. For those who wear their hair in braids, what should they be aware of?

• Do not get braids on freshly relaxed or freshly colored hair.
• Do not leave your braids in for longer than a month or so. It all depends on your rate of growth.
• Moisturize, MOISTURIZE, MOISTURIZE. Your hair is still exposed and must be cared for.
• Do not allow anyone to braid or pull your hair too tight. If you get hair bumps, it's too tight!

8. What is your personal hair care regimen?
I am all over the place with my hair. One month it's curly, the next month it's braids, and then the next it's straight! I love Shea Moisture Products, Miss Jessie's, Bumble and Bumble, Kera Care, and anything with Coconut Oil. My regimen depends on my style. When my hair is curl, I use Shea Moisture Products. I usually co-wash with their conditioner or Coconut Oil Conditioner, and I apply Knot Today, or Curling Custard by Kinky Curly. Their products keep my hair moisturized and shiny without leaving my curls crunchy. I love Miss Jessies' products but don't use them too often because their products are costly. When my hair is straight, I shampoo with Bumble and Bumble Quenching Shampoo and Conditioner. I also use their Quenching Complex as a leave in conditioner. I blow dry with Bumble and Bumble's Straight Blow Dry styling balm because it protects my hair.

I would like to say a special thanks to Nicole Dansby for her wonderful tips and tricks. If you would like to make an appointment, contact her at Byuti Salon in Sacramento.

On the run again...

My journey within the training world has begun. I will be eating, sleeping and dreaming about running. My goal is to not only beat my marathon time of 6 hours...yes...I said it, 6 hours of running. I want to run the marathon in 5:30 or less...preferably 5 hours. I will be posting throughout my running journey all about my progress. Each day and week and month, I will be working on improving upon myself, becoming leaner and healthier. My healthy lifestyle is not something I sell, it's something I live. Since I've often heard this question, "Why?" when I talk about running a marathon, I decided to list 3 simple reasons why I run marathons:

1. It's a challenge. When I decided to live a healthy lifestyle back at age 18, I found that I enjoy anything that challenges me. When I am challenged, it peaks my interest, it drives and motivates me. A huge part of running a marathon is all mental. You have to decide to run, you have to commit to run and you have to challenge yourself to do and be better than the day before.

 This was after my first marathon

2. Not everyone does it. One of my posts last month talked about my creativity and a desire to be different. I love to learn in a way so that I am original and unique. When it comes to marathons, it's not like driving a car. If I were to walk about to 100 adults who live in my city, I would find about 90 of them who own and drive a car. If I were to walk about to 100 adults and ask them if they have run a marathon, I would most likely find 10 or 20 at the most and the number could even be less than that.

 Early morning before the marathon

3. It keeps me healthy. When I am training for a race, I am motivated to eat healthy and exercise. It's a past time that causes me to take care of my body. It keeps me on the straight and narrow with my eating and exercise habits. It causes me to make sure that the gym membership is something that I actively use. I am dedicated to keeping my body in tip top shape.



You may not want to go out and run a marathon, but hopefully I can inspire you to go out and do something. You may not be able to run, but you can walk. You may not be able to walk but you can do chair exercises. There is always something that you can do, just focus on that and you can live a healthier lifestyle.

The Peanut Butter adventure....

Peanut butter has played an important role in many of our lives. As children we can all remember having that sandwich in our lunches. Well, that is if you were born prior to 1990, before all the food allergies to be specific. Anyway back to the beloved peanut butter, we have even given the lunch staple a nickname. The nickname is one that we all know and love, PB&J. I was not a fan of it growing up, my little one loves the stuff. As a mother, I strive to give my child food she enjoys. In the past I always bought the "good" stuff, reduced fat peanut butter.

After reading the book, Eat This, Not that, I realized the famous name brand peanut butter's all contain a ton of preservatives. The book talked about the importance of finding foods with ingredients that you can pronounce. It also spoke of the need to find foods without tons of ingredients. My daughter and I went up and down the aisle of a local grocery store and struggled to find one jar of peanut butter with less than 10 ingredients and less than $5. After searching for about 10-15 minutes in the same aisle, I decided to give up without buying any peanut butter, understanding the many people who said that health food is too expensive.

 I  looked one more time and found one brand called, Open Nature. The brand has two ingredients peanuts and salt. I was dumbfounded. I had no idea that peanut butter could actually be created with only two ingredients. I had never even thought of looking at the number of ingredients in a food that is in my daughter's lunch.

The main moral to this story is: "Be aware." There is no perfection in all of this, unless you make your own food. If you don't have the time or skill to do this, then just, "be aware". Think about the kinds of foods that you are putting inside of your body and the kinds of food that you are allowing your loved ones to consume. A healthy lifestyle starts with you and me.

You have to love yourself....

I have often found that I did not fit in. I was the funny, silly, creative child growing up. I was more interested in being different, than I was in fitting in. My mom has told me that when I was born and growing up, my grandma once said, "She is your different child." The natural hair journey is all a part of being different. I still have family members and friends who see me and wonder what I'm thinking by wearing my hair natural.

The fact is that all of us need to love who God has created us to be. We may not fit into some cookie cutter box, but we are each very special. I have talked to so many women and they do not value themselves because they are so afraid of what other people say or think. If you love yourself, then you will treat yourself better. If you love yourself, then you will respect your body. If you love yourself, then you will be mindful of who you allow into your life.

If I am to be natural, then it goes beyond hair, it's a inward thing. I may have straight hair or curly and that shouldn't matter. It's about embracing myself. I realize that I need to embrace my curves and bootyliciousness (my made up word). I am beautiful, I am strong, and I was perfectly created by God. The fact is, you were created perfectly too.

        

Forgiveness is freeing....

I went through a very painful marriage and relationship. I was left a single mom, broke and living with my parents. When my daughter was very young, I also went through a difficult custody case in court. The idea of forgiving a person like this was mind boggling. I felt that if I was to forgive him then, I was allowing him to be free from punishment. I wanted him to pay for what they did to me. Over the years, as I have continued to choose to forgive him, I feel the freedom in it. I feel a release of a burden. This principle is one that dates back to biblical days.
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. " Colossians 3:13

Dr. Phil has even addressed the issue:
"Don't give your power away. The pain of what happened is inevitable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who wronged you."

Tyler Perry also spoke on forgiveness on the Oprah Winfrey show,

"The same strength that it took to take it, is the same strength it takes to let it go and sometimes you spent all of it and you have nothing else to give, but forgiving..."


This is a lesson that each of us must continue to learn day by day. It is a choice. This choice can be made in the little things, like forgiving someone cutting you off on the freeway. It may be made in the bigger things, like forgiving someone leaving you destitute. The ultimate lesson that we all must learn is that forgiveness is freedom. The freedom from the pain, anger, and resentment. Walk in that freedom and if there is someone that you must forgive, do it today, please don't wait.