I have often found that I did not fit in. I was the funny, silly, creative child growing up. I was more interested in being different, than I was in fitting in. My mom has told me that when I was born and growing up, my grandma once said, "She is your different child." The natural hair journey is all a part of being different. I still have family members and friends who see me and wonder what I'm thinking by wearing my hair natural.
The fact is that all of us need to love who God has created us to be. We may not fit into some cookie cutter box, but we are each very special. I have talked to so many women and they do not value themselves because they are so afraid of what other people say or think. If you love yourself, then you will treat yourself better. If you love yourself, then you will respect your body. If you love yourself, then you will be mindful of who you allow into your life.
If I am to be natural, then it goes beyond hair, it's a inward thing. I may have straight hair or curly and that shouldn't matter. It's about embracing myself. I realize that I need to embrace my curves and bootyliciousness (my made up word). I am beautiful, I am strong, and I was perfectly created by God. The fact is, you were created perfectly too.
I went through a very painful marriage and relationship. I was left a single mom, broke and living with my parents. When my daughter was very young, I also went through a difficult custody case in court. The idea of forgiving a person like this was mind boggling. I felt that if I was to forgive him then, I was allowing him to be free from punishment. I wanted him to pay for what they did to me. Over the years, as I have continued to choose to forgive him, I feel the freedom in it. I feel a release of a burden. This principle is one that dates back to biblical days.
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. " Colossians 3:13
Dr. Phil has even addressed the issue:
"Don't give your power away. The pain of what happened is inevitable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who wronged you."
Tyler Perry also spoke on forgiveness on the Oprah Winfrey show,
"The same strength that it took to take it, is the same strength it takes to let it go and sometimes you spent all of it and you have nothing else to give, but forgiving..."
This is a lesson that each of us must continue to learn day by day. It is a choice. This choice can be made in the little things, like forgiving someone cutting you off on the freeway. It may be made in the bigger things, like forgiving someone leaving you destitute. The ultimate lesson that we all must learn is that forgiveness is freedom. The freedom from the pain, anger, and resentment. Walk in that freedom and if there is someone that you must forgive, do it today, please don't wait.
